I am writing this post in the midst of the pandemic, that has hit the people around the world so dramatically. So many of us need to find ourselves in the new reality of lockdowns, stay - home orders and social distancing. People in western cultures need to learn wearing masks of any kind is helpful or even life-saving behavior and it does not belong solely to the eastern world. We also need to face our deep fears, problems, approaches to life and this is the right time to do so.
We are being bombarded by the news about coronavirus cases, the number of deaths, but also by the news about re-opening the economy, returning to normality, and the new way of life in the future. Some people believe the post-pandemic world will be better, some say nothing will change as there were so many turning points in human history that did not change anything. I am somewhere in between. If there are enough people who want to change something for better, it may happen, but I do not believe everybody will suddenly forget greed, intolerance, racism, sexism to name the few.
I believe, though, this global stay-home order is the right time to find some changes in us and our approach to life because any change should start from ourselves.
Those who read this blog know I am a strong advocate of mindfulness, minimalism, slow life, financial independence. For me, all of them are connected with one factor - intentional life. For me, the post-pandemic world could change if many of us find just that.
Intention and mindfulness: being here and now means living intentionally, being fully committed to what we are doing, whom with, why, etc. When we start living intentionally we will see not only the other person but ourselves, we will respect both more. When we speak to somebody, we will be speaking to the fullest, not chacking our phones, for example. When playing, we will be playing, not drifting our thoughts to, say, work issues, so on and so forth.
Intention and minimalism: During the stay-put, we aren't using many things we own, either it is a piece of clothes, fancy handbag or any other pricy gadget we really had to buy before. Maybe this time is perfect to teach us to focus more, with intention, what we really need to possess. Do we really need to have 150 pairs of shoes ( yes, I know such people), especially when according to some studies we use not more than 30% of items we have. Do we need to have any modern gadget they advertise? Just remember, having more stuff does not make you happy. You buy 1 thing in one month and the next month this very thing is an oldie and the shopping spree begins again.
Intention and slow life: Some people are proud of being multitasking gurus, but is it the right thing to be proud of? Maybe this time is a good one to reevaluate what is really important in life. Working From Home- WFH- is quite a good example of it. Suddenly it appears we do not need to run like crazy to do a lot of things. When we live a bit slower and with the intention, we can choose what to do and when to do, fast or slowly. It is said that when, say, employees are given more freedom, they are happier and work more efficiently. I do believe it will have positive results in our daily, private life, too.
Intention and financial independence: The current situation reminds us there are no "lesser jobs", each job is important, without them our life ecosystem may collapse easily. So, is it not the best time to think about paying people better for their work? Then everybody could have the possibility of gaining financial independence if they want to. For those, like me, who earn enough or even more than needed, intentional spending means not buying things out of the impulse, things we don't need, seldom use. It means saving money for rainy days and our hobbies. I know a lot of people who have decent salaries but now are in the woods as far as their financial situation is concerned. They overspent before, behaving like children thinking they are entitled to have everything they want, without even thinking the situation may change in a second. Their greed made them blind to anything logical, especially the fact they are really poor even when earning thousands.
Intentional living makes us the owners of our lives, makes us decide not the society. When we make intentional decisions, we become free and freedom is one of the most beautiful things in life. So, I do hope our life after the pandemic will change, that many of us will live with the intention of anything we do.
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I hope to write a 4-part piece on mindfulness, minimalism, slow life, and menopause, but combining them with the topic of anxiety. This will be quite a personal post, but I am writing it, though, as I believe strongly through telling your story you may inspire somebody who is struggling and maybe even give hope for the future.
I need to say I am not a psychiatrist, or a psychologist or a specialist in any medical field. I am writing from my own experience.
I always encourage people who suffer from anxiety or depression to seek medical, professional help. Please, remember there is no shame in doing so. I also believe current medicine and pharmacology can help, especially if we understand that suffering of this kind is connected, among the others, with chemical substances in our brain. I am writing from the perspective of my own experience and I think it can give you some hope, inspiration and/or knowledge.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder ( GAD) hit me some years ago and since that time it hasn't been the easiest ride in my life. When I look at what I have been through I may admit I've had most of the typical symptoms of GAD, like
- constant worry, very often about unrealistic problems, also hypochondria, when your thoughts are running like crazy influencing your emotions and even your senses
- anxiety in different life situations.
- panic attacks, happening during any situation, also during the holidays.
- irritability and outbursts of anger.
- fast puls and sweating.
- tension in muscles.
- tiredness.
So, if you notice some of the symptoms mentioned occurring for a longer time in your life, welcome to the club. With time I started searching for some, not only medical, relief and I came across mindfulness. Again, I am not saying ( and will never say) practicing mindfulness alone will help you, especially if you are diagnosed with GAD, but the good news is, it can help reduce some symptoms or help fight them when they occur.
Of course, you will find a lot of posts and websites dedicated to mindfulness, but here I want to say how I understand it. So, for me, mindfulness is
- being here and now, focusing on what we are doing at a particular moment. While walking, e.g., focusing on the movement or our surroundings. Let it be just noticing changing nature, falling leaves. Or let it be feeling the steps while walking. Such an approach may reduce the constant flow of thoughts because you will focus on things around you, your mind will not have the opportunity to add anything to it.
- observing your thoughts, including those nasty ones. When you start being anxious or worried, but if you observe this moment of being anxious, you can change your focus on something else. It can break the chain of negative thoughts. When it happens to me, I usually say to myself: Really! OK!", it usually helps to bring some rationality in the process of thinking because I am able to notice that some other patterns of thinking are possible.
- knowing that everything is impermanent. That's a good one, as it is both good and bad news. On the one hand, you may stress out everything comes to the end, but on the other hand, you know your anxiety or panic attack has its limits as well. Somebody has said a typical panic attack lasts 15 minutes. Well, I don't know the exact time, I haven't counted, but indeed, it doesn't last forever. The notion itself is a huge relief.
- letting go. It is also some good principle of mindfulness. I am not saying here of letting go of your negative thoughts, just by wanting to do so. It would be unrealistic because if the anxiety hits, you won't feel better just by just saying ' let it go". I think of letting go in a sense of allowing yourself to have a bad time, being imperfect, asking for help.
- accepting the moment as it is, without judging it. You simply can't change the moment that is already happening, so why not just say " OK, here we go again", instead of saying " Oh, why me, not again! Why, why?" The latter may add more stress, which will lead to more anxiety, so on, so forth.
So, to sum up. Anxiety is not the nicest thing, when it happens over and over again, find yourself a specialist, but mindfulness can help you lower the level of GAD. In the next post, I will try to write about how anxiety and mindfulness led me to minimalism.
There is no need to remind us we live in difficult times, with dangerous coronavirus spreading around the world, affecting each and every aspect of our lives.
Our thoughts go out to all the people suffering from the disease.
We all need to stay careful and stay put - social distancing ourselves in order to cut the ways of infection. Such isolation may and will influence a lot of us, not only physically, but also mentally.
Being mindful of our thoughts, especially those negative ones, can help us go through the hardship. If such thoughts occur, just observe them, don't cling to them. Let them go because sooner or later they will disappear.
Keep yourself busy, don't forget to have a daily routine. Don't get in the cycle of misery. Do something and do it intentionally, "meditate while pilling potatoes". Be there.
Maybe this hard situation can teach us something. Have you noticed how most of us rush, chasing unnecessary things? Lots of us have forgotten how to just sit and be; notice every small thing in our lives. Read quietly, observe nature, just experience every smallest aspect of life.
Maybe it's time to ask ourselves if we really want to lead such a busy life or we have been caught in such a lifestyle by the others and we just repeat what they do without even thinking this is the right thing. So, this time of self-isolation may be a great time for us, time to ask ourselves important questions, seek answers, make decisions. Maybe it is a lesson life gives us to stop and think, to look inward and become humane again.
It is definitely not time to panic. It is definitely time to stay reasonable and responsible for ourselves and for the others. It's not the time to put ourselves and the others in danger only because of our own whimsical behaviour.
It is also a great financial lesson for many. It is time to look at your spending patterns. It can teach us whether we save some part of our income, as small it may be, but regularly. Far too many people spend all they earn every day, and I am not talking about people who live on a minimum wage, I am talking about people who just have this urge to spend. Who being adults behave like a 3-year-old kid who has to have something, without noticing he/she won't appreciate this thing in a short time.
So, be there where you are, be there intentionally. Be open-minded and curious. Be responsible.
Stay put and stay safe!
Hello to All, I really DO hope your moment in life is full of positive vibrations.
Today's post's title has the word "trading" in it, some of you know I have been trading Forex for some time now and also I have invested at the stock exchange, but I believe, as the post also speaks about feelings, you can relate to any situation in life.
I have this opinion we mostly do things in life out of fear of any kind. Even though you may not agree with me on this one, you will agree we have a mix of different feelings during each day, feelings we are not always aware of or those we may not know how to call in the particular moment. The fact of not being aware of our feelings is connected, again in my opinion, with the level of mindfulness we are at. And that is fine, I'm not saying we all have to be at the same level, as we have various experience.
Anyway, for example, today I have found my anxiety level is a bit higher than usual and I am extremely sleepy due to low blood pressure. With this notion, I opened my transaction platform at my broker's and looked at the charts. Imidietally I got attracted to EURUSD strong movement! Wow, just wow! What a mix of additional feelings occurred! Excitement, fear of missing out ( FOMO), belief that I simply need to jump in the trade as all the others did so. So many times before I would just do it, the feelings were simply too strong and so often I was driven by them, without any further thinking. 
Yet, this time, being also more experienced, I have recalled the above statement.
I am certain we all have been in situations when we just jumped into a decision or replied out of some strong feelings and later we regretted it. The above statement is also strictly connected with trading, professionals know how to, maybe not keep their feelings at bay, but stick to their trading plan. If they do not see some elements they have chosen to trade, they just do not enter the trade.
You will say, hey Brygida, it's easier said than done and I will say " Amen to that, dear Humans. I have been there and I have done that, 5 years to be precise. We are just humans and, even if we like thinking we are special, we are just very similar, especially in reacting to feelings.
So, what have I done in this particular moment? Besides recalling the statement mentioned, I took a few moments to just pause and do nothing.
There is this idea certain chemical reactions in our brain last 90 seconds, the rest of the time we decide to hold particular feelings depends on us.
Later, I looked at the chart again, the movement of the price was strong, but (!) I haven't noticed the price patterns I usually trade and also the volume, which I look at, was not right in my opinion.
I reminded myself the affirmation I once read on the Internet, reading: I only trade opportunities that present themselves to me.
I closed the broker site and walked away. I was not thinking clearly because of being more anxious, sleepy and having all that chemical rush connected with the excitement of the moment. Some may say I could have earned a lot of money. Probably. Oddly enough, though, I want to stick to my plan, with time I know this is the key to constant earnings while trading.
Can we also use these simple ways in different occurrences in life? Of course, we can. In a moment of taking a decision, we can always take a minute to pause, there is nothing wrong in asking the second party to wait a minute. If we have some certain rules in life and somebody or something require us to break them, let's pause and decide how we feel about it? Just a minute can let us see things more clearly, can break the pattern of e.g. negative feelings, and that can allow us to take a more suitable decision.
In the end, I repeat again, I know it isn't easy, but it IS manageable, just try, why don't we?
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